


The Angel Boy's Got It Going On?

by Valkyri



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 10:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2465564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valkyri/pseuds/Valkyri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was suppose to be a "Newcomer: Palutena!" fic but it turned into "everyone thinks Pit is banging the hot goddess" and I don't know how it happened. Ike, Little Mac, and Captain Falcon also don't know how it happened, and their aim is to figure out how the weak little birdy boy managed to get with Palutena - I mean, it IS Palutena we're talking about - or if they're even so.</p>
<p>This is also on fanfiction.net.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Angel Boy's Got It Going On?

              Pit was lonely. When he arrived at Smash Mansion in 2008, no one knew who he was. They thought he was from anime land, where Marth and Ike originated, but even they shrugged their shoulders at him. Only Mario had any real recollection of him, but Mario’s supposed to know who everyone is so he didn’t count. Pit’s game wasn’t getting any special attention like Ness’s or Fox’s were at the time, so everyone tended to stay away from him at first. They eventually warmed up to the bouncy angel boy, especially after the wild adventure of Subspace, but it wasn’t the same for him. Everyone had a friend from their own world to fall back on, or, in Captain Falcon’s and Samus’s case, were here from the start.

              Pit frequently wrote to Goddess Palutena, his only friend, because of this. He always expressed to her how lonely he felt and how much he wished he had someone from his world with him there. “Don’t get me wrong, Lady Palutena!” he would say. “I love everyone here, they’re all really nice! I just wish I had someone like you around is all.”

              So it wasn’t surprising the elation that welled within him when Mario announced that she was a new fighter at the corporation. No one exactly _knew_ who Palutena was – they figured she was Pit’s girlfriend since he talked endlessly about her so often.

              Ike, Little Mac, and Captain Falcon – also known as the Dorito Trio – were especially suspicious of this, but they figured that Palutena was some average-looking angel girl who probably didn’t upkeep her wings. You see, these three picked on little Pit a lot since he was so tiny and frail and they were manly X-Box Call of Duty no scope Dorito-loving dudebros who believed in broga (the manly form of “yoga”, much to WiiFit Trainer’s dismay). When Pit chattered on and on about how great Palutena was, they only snickered to the side because they knew – they _just_ knew – that she probably wasn’t all that great or attractive.

              Boy, were they wrong.

              When Palutena strode in, you could see the souls of the princesses leave their bodies. It was probably because she was a Goddess and it was their job to be naturally gorgeous beyond belief, because that’s exactly what she was. The Dorito Trio’s jaws all dropped – _this_ was the Palutena that the little angel boy raved about? Blasphemy! It couldn’t be so! There was no _way_ the angel boy was dating that glimmering beauty! She _had_ to be someone else!

              But alas…

              “Lady Palutena!” Pit exclaimed, dashing up to the green-haired beaut. He jumped onto her for a tight hug, and she wobbled a little on her feet before hugging back.

              “It’s nice to see you again, Pit,” Palutena replied, her voice as enchanting as her presence. “They finally accepted my applications to be here. Now you can finally have a friend here with you, just as you wanted!”

              The whole room was in shock. The little angel boy that everyone picked on _was banging the gorgeous goddess._ It was like a really bad high school sitcom, and everyone either felt extremely bad, extremely jealous, or extremely pissed. The Dorito Trio felt all three. At the same time, they grew a respect for the kid, a respect that flows through the blood of men, and it was then that they knew Pit shared their blood. Ike felt a sense of pride in his heart – he watched the kid struggle through their taunts and abuse of the Hammer, and now he stood on a pedestal above them. Little Mac was probably the most pissed of the three, but mostly because he didn’t have the balls to ask out WiiFit Trainer, yet Pit was able to get with the Goddess of his world.

              Captain Falcon, however, had little emotion reflecting on this issue. In fact, he wasn’t impressed in the slightest because he _knew_ there was _no_ way that beauty was in cahoots with the little prissy bird. In fact, he was _so_ convinced that they didn’t have a relationship, he wanted to prove it to his two fuming friends.

 

* * *

 

              Pit had the greatest day with Lady Palutena. They fought against each other in a few matches, trained, ate lunch, fought some more, played at the park, trained some more, and talked. Pit was at the peak of happiness just because she was here – it had been too long since he had seen his best friend! It was nice having someone from the same world as you since you could talk about life there without having to explain too much! He didn’t want the day to be over, not by a long shot, but just after sundown Palutena began to yawn and grow tired.

              “B-But, Lady Palutena!” Pit stuttered. They had walked to Palutena’s room since she told him she was going to retire for the night. “We were having so much fun…”

              “Yes, we are, but even a Goddess needs her beauty sleep!” Palutena said, patting Pit’s head. “We can play tomorrow, and the next day, and for all of eternity!”

              Pit pouted at first, but after some consideration he let out a goofy grin. “Alright, Lady Palutena! You have a great night’s rest!”

              “You as well, Pit,” Palutena flashed him a motherly smile before retreating into her room. Pit decided to rest for the night as well; he could feel his adrenaline rush draining from his body and his muscles began to grow heavy. So, he turned on his heels and skipped to his room, humming along the way, his wings swaying with his notes.

              Speaking of notes, there was a written one taped on his door, he found. It had the simple yet symbolic Smash emblem keeping it sealed, and the only thing written on the front was, “Little Angel Boy.” Pit tilted his head as he ripped off the sticker and unfolded the note. It said:

              “ _Meet us in the training room.”_

              Now, any normal person would’ve had an itching feeling about such an ominous note and cast it aside immediately. Pit, however, was not a normal person and actually a naïve angel, and because of this his adrenaline spiked once again. Someone wants to train with him! They’re finally recognizing him as a real fighter now that Palutena’s here! That made Pit so ecstatic!

              Of course, the inviter had no intention to train with the angel boy. Far from it, in fact – the inviter wanted information, information only Pit could provide himself. Information Captain Falcon needed in order to make an accurate assumption about the boy.

              However, Pit was the first one in the training room. He didn’t think much of it and waited there for his anonymous writers. His anonymous writers, however, had spent their time in the cafeteria chowing down on as much food as they could. Captain Falcon didn’t tell Little Mac and Ike about their meeting with Pit, you see – he knew they wouldn’t want to do something as lame as “talk” voluntarily. So, Falcon decided to stuff the two powerhouses with chicken and grease until they felt gross enough to want to work out. And, of course, his plan succeeded. It took far longer than he suspected, but sooner or later they finally made it to the training room where the little Pit patiently whistled. And once he saw who his mystery writers were, his eyes illuminated.

              “Wow! You guys wanted to train with me?!” Pit began to ramble. “Ike, Little Mac… Even Captain Falcon?! I thought you guys hated me! I’m so glad that you-!”

              “Hey, look at who it is!” Ike said, ignoring his rambling because that’s what Ike does. “It’s little Pitty!”

              “You sound like Hades,” Pit pouted before being slapped on the back by Ike.

              “Nice going, kid!” Ike spluttered. Captain Falcon opened his mouth to stop the giant hunk of muscle from revealing their suspicions before Pit could confirm them, but Ike only blabbered on. “Getting with the hottest chick this side of Smash has seen yet? Whoo-whee!”

              “Huh?” Pit asked, baffled.

              “Palu!” Little Mac cut in, ruffling Pit’s hair with his mitt. “We didn’t know you had it in ya, kid, but it looks like you do!”

              “Palu…? Oh, you mean Lady Palutena!”

              “Haha, ‘Lady’!” Ike bellowed. “Such a gentleman!”

              “We’ll need to get some advice from you, kid!” Little Mac smirked, giving him a wink. “I’m, uh, gonna need it.”

              “Advice on what?” Pit inquired. He was confused beyond belief, his wings drooping because he started to feel a bit nervous. “Turning your sword into a bow? I mean, it kind of came like that-“

              “No, no! We mean picking up chicks!” Little Mac corrected.

              “Chicks? Well, I mean, I’m sure you can buy some chickens at a pet shop or something!”

              Captain Falcon was completely appalled by the situation. Though, he could only blame himself – he did decide it was a good idea to drag Tweedle Punch and Tweedle Anime with him to interrogate a mythical creature that had no sense of modern human terminology. So, instead of cutting in, he decided to just let this slide for the night. There was no point in cutting in at this point.

              And then Ike asked it.

              “So what’s it like, dating a freaking Goddess?” Ike finally asked.

              “Dating a Goddess?” Pit replied, his face turning as red as a beet. “Dating a Goddess… Wait! You guys don’t think-?!”

              “Well, it’s obvious!” Little Mac said. “I mean, you showered her with attention all day! And when she came through the door, you bombarded her with a hug!”

              Then came the answer Captain Falcon was looking for.

              “Th-That’s because I haven’t seen her in years!” Pit stuttered, trying to cover his blush. “I-I don’t like her like that! She’s like a sister to me!”

              “You’re dating your sister?” Little Mac asked.

              “Dude…”

              “N-No!” Pit continued, twiddling his thumbs. “She’s not really my sister, and we aren’t dating! I-I’m her only angel, and I fight by her side for the sake of order and justice! I-I’m charge of her army against Hades; I lead them into battle and stuff like that! We have a close bond because of that…”

              That’s when it hit them, all three of them. No one knew about this kid before he came to Smash – he just appeared out of nowhere. Even while he stayed, no one truly found out who he was. Everyone just assumed he was some side character that no one cared about and Lord Sakurai decided should be thrown in (yes, Falco crossed their minds at this thought). It was only then that they realized he had more to him than banging a Goddess.

              He was a badass.

              The only angel in the world? Cool. In charge of an expansive army created by a Goddess herself? Neat. Fighting the King of Death and the Underworld single-handedly? The Dorito Trio gained a respect for him once again, but this was a different kind of respect – it was one that strapped itself closer in their hearts. It was a respect that sealed itself within the fabrics of their souls and beings, a respect that only the truest men could feel.

              The respect of bros.

              Captain Falcon smirked. He was right about one thing – the angel boy wasn’t with the Goddess. But he was on a whole other level, a level that even he could barely comprehend. While Ike felt pride and Little Mac was still kind of pissed, Falcon felt a unity form between him and little Pit. Little Pit? No, he wasn’t little; in fact, he was a force to be reckoned with. And Falcon respected that most of all.

              He patted a hand on Pit’s shoulder, who had to crick his neck in order to look up at the racer. Falcon smirked. “Time to train, kid.” Pit let out a toothy smile.

              Pit no longer felt lonely, even without Lady Palutena.


End file.
